Tuesday, November 06, 2007


A Call to Arms

Now is the winter of our malcontent, Comrades. For too long we have allowed ourselves to fall victim to the tyranny of a corrupt and decadent regime of professors. Lo, these many years our so called "educators" have gulled, cullied, and diddled we pious students for all we're worth. Midterms, map quizzes, term sheets, Blue Books! And when we dared stand up to them like men, they have assigned more work, gave pop quizzes, and spilled our blood[1] ! Even Zenon has refused to give my proposals for student independence even the courtesy of open debate. My God, what in hell are they waiting for?

I say the time for peaceful diplomacy has passed. The expressions of ideas by enlightened students have fallen on deaf ears. This, Comrades, is the dawn of our revolution. The rays of a better tomorrow are peeking over the horizon, and they look glorious. This is the time for action. Cry 'havoc' and let slip the dogs of war!

Today we students stand united at the brink of total war. We are Comrades in arms who attest that all historians, regardless of degrees earned, are created equal. We shall hold true to that belief so that those students who lose on the battlefield of RISK will not have gone in vain. Any student who gives their life blood in the name of Student Liberty will be gloriously received into the halls of Valhalla. I know this war will be an uphill clime, and every moment we will be precariously perched on the precipice of defeat, but if we stand united we cannot fail. When Alexander laid siege to Tyre he built a jetty so that his troops could attack the island from the land. When Mehmet the Conqueror's mighty navy was blocked from the Bosphorus by a Byzantine chain he carried his ships across the land to attack Constantinople. We too can overcome the very elements themselves in the name of our cause. Soon we will all eat the cookies of liberty dunked in milk from the chalice of victory!

Years from now, when the incoming freshmen ask, will you all be able to say you were there when the students made their stand? Will you be able to say 'I fought on Armistice Day. I heard the clap of thunder when red and white dice clashed, and the gorges ran crimson. I was there when the history we study was made.'?

I will not deceive you, some of you valiant heroes will lose on the battle board of RISK. But if you do not fight, and flee like cowards to live a long life, consider that one day you will be lying in your deathbed, many years from now. On that day at the end of an empty life, would you trade every moment from now until then to be able to have confronted the professors and to have given the mighty battle yawp for Freedom?

Viva the Revolution, Comrades! Viva la Libertad!

[1] Professor Tempesta punched me once when I said he had a statistic wrong. Right in the face

Before I answer your call arms, Tim (which I plan on doing), can I ask
just what history professor has "diddled" which students?
Tricky wording, that.

-Comrade Renee Ladue
Strength is not in numbers.

Strength is in strategy.

- Senior Airman Eric Webster
Operations Intelligence Analyst
107th Air Refueling Wing
Strategy or numbers I would be happy to come on Sunday and contribute to
either so count me in.

~Casey Lewis~
Eric , You seem confused. I think you are supposed to be on our side.
You seem like a sensible young man.

-Jonathan Ablard
What's in it for me?

- Senior Airman Eric Webster
Operations Intelligence Analyst
107th Air Refueling Wing
Comrade Eric,

Isn't it enough to fight for your tired, your poor, your huddled masses of fellow historians? Isn't it enough to tear down the last remnants of the evil empire that has oppressed us for so long? What can the devil offer you other than betrayal? A man should not sell his soul for the entire world, but for Wales?

-Comrade Tim
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