Where in the World is Tim?

Those faithful readers among you will no doubt recall my initial description of the fall of my internet. I layed forth a metaphor implying that the reason my internet was ripped to bloody shreds was because it was too slow to avoid a furry feral sabertoothed beast. It turns out that this was the opposite of the truth. My internet was disabled for going not too slow, but rather too fast. The way my completely legal downloading program works is that it streams in information on unused bandwidth. Therefore the speed of my downloads is inversely proportional to the number of people using the internet in the dorm. It's all very complicated, having to do with the way the Internet God, Lord Xenu, manipulates the series of tubes the internet force flows through. But the important thing is that I cannot steal from other users, I can only use what is freely availlable. The same is true for all the other people in the dorm to whom I gave my completely legal and nameless downloading service. In a perfect world this causes no problems.

There is a problem though. The internet service providers put a sort of speed limit on our internet connections. Without telling us, interpol (the internet police) can pull us over and revoke our licenses, no questions asked. This weekend is a long weekend for all my Spanish dormmates, so they all went home leaving the dorm virtually empty. With no spaniards using the internet my downloading accelerated to an unimaginable velocity. Since I was going too fast, I was pulled over and kicked off. Now I can't get back on the internet until the person in charge of the dorm internet comes back from his prolonged weekend and pulls the lever that will let me back on.

Waiting is unimaginably annoying. Especially annoying because the dark Lord Xenu saw fit to kill my flash drive last night. My flash drive had on it all of my sources for the paper I'm writing and the only copies of all of the papers I've written for Ithaca. Mark my words... Xenu will pay.

-Tim