Where in the World is Tim?

So I have the long lost parts of my London Application done and sitting in front of me. All I need to do now is fax them. The end of my long journey is so close, and yet I find my self in a state lacking action. A state of "laction", if you will. Perhaps this is just the calm before the storm. I can´t help but reflect uppon the significance of what I am about to do. For more than six years now my only real goal in life has been to study abroad in London. I made up my mind that I wanted to study there during my first visit to the city.

Let me set the stage: the year is 2000 AD, dawn of a new milleneum. A young Ray Ramano makes the nation laugh. The up beat toons of non-offensive bubble-gum pop music is heard from every jukebox in every soda shoppe. I am a bright dowey-eyed freshman in high school. It´s my first trip to western europe and I´m thrilled to absorb the culture.

My every action since then been a function of my desire to study in London. I went to IC BECAUSE they had a London program. I became a History major BECAUSE it allowed me the time to take time off to travel. I have been single minded in my treatment of academic and social life. This was the end I was willing to take any means to reach.

And yet, here I am so close, and my hand is stayed. Why?

Could it be the reflection of wondering if it has all been worth it? Is the life I have built for myself sufficient to keep me happy after I return from London? Could I be scared that London is the last pursuit of my youth and now I am forced to grow up? Is my laction a prodect of fear, fear of the void that will exist in my life once my single purpose is complete. Could I be having second thoughts as to if the momentary impulse I had years ago, that my years have been spent clinging to, is that still what I want today? Am I considering turning back now that I have perspective?

No. Of course I´m not nearly that Emo.

I was just waiting for the fax machine.

Here goes nothing.

Peace.

-Inodranul Mit