Where in the World is Tim?

So there I was, acting as a just and benevolent ruler to all my subjects in the kingdom of NoPantsylvania. The city-state was flurrishing. The people were happy. The economy was on an up swing. The treasury was not only in the black, but through clever economics NoPantslylvania had acrewed a substantial surplus. Most importantly, as the Chief of the Fire Department assured me, the NoPantsylvanians were safe.

It is a little known fact that all firemen are liers. They lie right to your face, and then they laugh about it to their buddies later. I learned this horrible truth about firemen when, during the NoPantsylvanian 3/4 centenial celebration, the pilot of an airplane (who was obviously tripping on Abscenth) flew his jet into the heart of my industrial disterict like a friggen lawn dart. Needless to say the ensuing fire spread like herpes at an all girls school (I don't know what that means, but it spread fast).

That's about the time when my fire chief, who had promised me my city was beyond safe, showed up. He was alone, and visibly drunk. I won't go into too much detail as to how he attempted to put out the fire. I'll just say it involved urin, and it didn't work.

There comes a time when every captain has to go down with his ship. But this was't my time, so I quickly quit Sim City 2000, and in doing so, put out the fire.

Almost all of the IES folk from the dorm are out of town this weekend, most of whom are in Mallorca. I don't know what or where Mallorca is. The only information anyone could give me was that it is the pearl capital of... then I would stop listening. I don't wear a lot of pearls, and I don't really care to discuss them. I have this image of Mallorca being an island, but that's only because it has the word "Orca" in it, which is the other name for Killer Whales. Whales live in water, hence Mallorca must be an island.

Not wanting to waste a lovely Spanish nigh playing video games from 1993 alone in my room, I decided to have an adventure. I decided to take a midnight swim in the Mediterranean. I figured it's here, I might as well.

I must have seemed an odd sight for all the Spaniards who saw me in my commute. The beach is on the other side of the city from me, so it takes about an hour to get there by metro. Meanwhile, Friday night the metro is filled with people going out to nightclubs dressed to the nines. Me, in my bathingsuit carrying a towel (the Hitchhiker reference not lost upon me) and wearing a Hawaiian shirt (for affect), I stuck out. Way out.

There's something I've noticed about Spanish people, there's two kinds. There's the dwarven people of old. These are the two feet tall elderly people with heads like old wrinkled fruit. I mean no disrespect to these people, I know they survived Franco. The only other people you see in Spain are tall, attractive, and obsesively fashion concious. The most fashionably inept guy in Spain makes even those Americans who make it their business to be in touch with fashion look like a backwoods bumpkin. To them, I must look like some sort of chimp that has wandered out of the jungles of France and is trying to masquerade as a person. I cannot help but be reminded of Chicken Boo on "Animaniacs".

But no matter how out of place I looked, I was determined to go night swimming (it deserves a quiet night, after all). My flip flops flapped as I walked down the street. Of course the trendiest clubs are down by the beach, and as I walked by each club I heard the bouncers sigh with relief that I was not going to try and be seen at their club.

Not surprisingly, the beach is where the people go when they leave the nightclubs and want to be alone. I'm not saying people were having sex all over the beach, at least I didn't see any, but it was a romantic location. I cannot, and therefore will not attempt to explain the allure of the Mediterranean sea, especially the Barcelona beaches. But I will say this, the water sparkles gold. I don't know how, or why, and it's not like anything I've ever seen in the States, so I cannot compare it to anything. It is just something you have to see, and once you see it, you just want to be near it. This explains why couples would come down to lie under the stars by sea. I hope it also gives a hint as to why I would travel so far in the middle of the night just to splash around in the water.

I know what I did tonight was silly. But that's kind of why I did it. There is a freedom that I've found comes with night swimming. Once you cross that line that divides land and sea, nothing on the land can get you. I don't mean to imply that I was trying to escape something, just that the elation that comes with that freedom is intoxicating. Splashing around in the sea at the center of the world in the middle of the night half crazed, there is no experiance that makes me feel so alive.

-Tim

PS
I tried to change the settings so that anyone can post on my blog rather than just people with their own blogs. I hope it worked.